They aren’t referring to you because of… YOU

Once we understand WHY they refer to us, it’s a lot easier to get more of them.

Simply find out what causes the WHY, and just do more of that.

Ok, that sounded a little harsher than I meant it to, but it’s the way it is.

I want you to picture the last birthday party you went to…

When it’s time to open the presents, I think the “givers” are more excited than the person receiving all the gifts.

All the “givers” are shouting out, “open mine next, open mine next”.  You see, we feel good about ourselves when we see them open our gift and watch them experience the joy of receiving the gifts.

A psychologist once told me that people give gifts, not to actually give gifts, but to feel good about themselves for giving the gifts


I know that sounds totally narcissistic, but I think she is on to something there.

So when people give us referrals, it’s not necessarily to help you or “because of you”, it may be because it makes them feel good about themselves when you tell them how much you appreciate the referral (the gift) and how important they are to you.

So using that line of thought, they don’t refer because of “us”, they refer because of “them”.  It gives them a boost of dopamine (a brain chemical) that makes them feel good.

So if we take it to the next step, when we ask people to refer to us, we are giving them the opportunity to feel good about themselves.

And if we hold back on asking them for referrals, then we are robbing them of the opportunity to feel good about themselves.

A very interesting concept that I have found to be very true with my mortgage team closing an average of 397 loans per month last year (and this year shaping up to be even better).

Sooooo, when you want help with scripting on HOW to ask for referrals, hit me up on one of our FREE STRATEGY CALLS FOR LOAN OFFICERS and we’ll walk you through exactly how to do it with both agents, friends, and past clients.

Giving more people a chance to feel even better about themselves is always a good thing.

I got your back,

Carl White

Important Links